- #GROWING UP WITH A NARCISSISTIC MOTHER MOVIE#
- #GROWING UP WITH A NARCISSISTIC MOTHER FULL#
- #GROWING UP WITH A NARCISSISTIC MOTHER FREE#
You sure put a lot of work into that.” When I said, “What?” She immediately said, “Oh, I meant it as a compliment.” I was freshening up my hair and makeup in the car between my dad’s funeral and graveside service and her comment was, “Wow. She still holds onto the fact that I “owe” her a New Year’s party. When I came over to say goodbye before we left for home, she refused to talk to me. Until the next day when she called, enraged that we had “changed her plans” and didn’t come to her house. She came over for new years and we had a nice time. We asked her if she’d like to spend New Year’s at my brother-in-law’s house. One Christmas we travelled out of state to see her and other various family members. Now, 26 years later, I can’t stop worrying about them. As a 14-year-old girl I wasn’t self-conscious about my eyebrows. She gives you a complex about everything.
#GROWING UP WITH A NARCISSISTIC MOTHER FREE#
How was I supposed to respond to something like that? No wonder I’ve spent the past 5 years like Rapunzel when she finally left the tower, vacillating back and forth between feeling exhilaratingly free from my mother’s clutches and degradingly shamed for abandoning her in her old age. It takes me right back to 15 years ago in the produce section of the grocery store when my mom told me that people thought I was vain. When she sings to Rapunzel and insults her and soothes her in the same breath? Triggered. But I sure know what it’s like to be raised by the scariest of all villains, the Narcissistic Mother. I mean, there was no magic involved, and I wasn’t kidnapped as a baby.
#GROWING UP WITH A NARCISSISTIC MOTHER MOVIE#
Rapunzel is the most relatable Disney movie I’ve ever seen, because I was basically raised by Mother Gothel.
Instead, every terrible gift is like a slap in the face and a reminder that my mother doesn’t know me, and she doesn’t seem to want to. And something free, like a heartfelt note would mean the world to me. It would be a relief to NOT receive something from her. The fact is, I don’t expect gifts at all. It would have been a nice gesture, except that I am not, nor have ever been on a keto diet. One birthday she gave me leftover frozen keto snacks. One Christmas we received a family gift, a 12-can case of canned raisin bread, with no explanation as to why.
#GROWING UP WITH A NARCISSISTIC MOTHER FULL#
One Christmas she gave everyone in the family a trash bag full of various thrift store items including, but not limited to, a petrified blowfish, Velcro curlers and a lasso (made of…is that hair?). She’s painfully unaware of what would make someone happy. But my mom actually spends good money on something that I would never want. It’s understandable to give simple gifts when you’re low on money. I used to think it was just because she was always poor. She is literally incapable of giving someone a good gift. But it’s honestly the one that bugs me the most. I know this sounds whiny and selfish at best. He was obviously and understandably mortified. When he was 13, she asked my son how puberty was going. Because “it’s none of your business” isn’t a good enough answer for her. I was coerced into telling her EVERYTHING as a kid, learned to be sneaky as a teenager, and flat out lied to her as an adult. She asks personal questions, and isn’t satisfied until you’re crying too. And she had the audacity to be offended when they responded with information about job opportunities.
She once wrote a letter to a well-known wealthy person to ask them for money. She’s offended when someone gives something to someone else and not to her. She sucks away your time, energy, attention, and resources. These aren’t official, diagnosable signs of a narcissistic parent.īut they are signs that I needed to distance myself from my mom, and seek out some good, healing therapy long before I actually did. Until then, I thought I was the one who had the problem. But growing up with them as my normal, it took a lot of distancing and therapy to see them as a problem. Diagnosis or not, having a narcissistic mother was hell to live with growing up and toxic to have a relationship with as an adult.
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